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HugePE Forum

PEetabix — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 09:50:23 CDT

HugePE Forum <<links to current forum>> is the latest in a hugely successful forum dedicated to mainly a select bunch of ex-Collingwood members. Famous threads include Krishan's Goal/skill of the day, Sameer's The Official Bored at Work Thread (a.k.a most popular thread ever) and countless threads on Lee Mackey. In February 2007 in an unexpected move hugepe was taken down this lead to panic and Martin PE'd on his choice of new forum this was later rectified by Krishan back to an original php familiar format. Uptake has been slow on the new forum due to the confusion and possibly use of frames on the hugepe.co.nr still linking to the old site but hopefully time and word will spread and the site will be back to its former glory.

The latest in the hugepe forum saga is that the latest (3rd) one has died as well, leaving hugepe members unable to communicate. Telephone, I hear you say? Well, it is no secret that hugepe members do not like the latter, as proved by countless failed attempts to organise football games using the latter previously, preferring the wonders of tiniternet. As a result, the morale of Doughboys players is at an all time low, with only one clan game having been played over the last 7 days. There have been mention of actually "paying" for a dedicated forum; that seems unlikely; regardless of whether you are a high-flying young professional, or a bum.

HugePE Forum is now in it's 4th incarnation at yet another provider, hopefully this will last longer than a few days.

Bruce Arena

monsterschnozz — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 03:07:04 CST

Named after popular USA coach Bruce Arena, the Bruce Arena is the pitch of dreams, the field of fantasy, some patch of dirt next to the Arena, call it what you will this is the current location for hugePE football. It has seen some skill and lot of PE's, mostly from Krishan and his 'shin splints' or Rob Cereda who is currently in a titanic duel with Sameer for the title of world's slowest man. Considering Krishan isn't even in the running (or walking to be accurate), this shows the pace we are talking about. Gary Mantle was eliminated from the world's slowest man competition when Zimbabwean international footballer 'Shaun' declared him to be "too quick for him".

In similar PEs, the Bruce Arena was made famous by 2 great pieces of oratory, one being Sameers declaration "I've got Bates" when defending a corner, seconds before 3ft 4ins Daniel Bates crashed an unopposed header into the top corner. The other great line was Matt Knight's cry of 'Whip it in tubs!' directed towards to unnacceptable face of today's youth, a chubby chav kid standing in a crossing positin with the ball.

The Tortoise was disqualified from the 'world's slowest man' competition after Rob and Sameer suspected him of taking steroids to enhance his performance after thrashing them in the 100cm sprint.

Also a Tortoise is not a man.

Magaluf

Matt_Knight — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 14:07:45 CST

Introduction
Following weeks of in depth conversations and research which should have taken place but didnt, 7 people headed down to the local Thomas Cook. I took a back seat in the decision due to my lack of knowledge in the possible destinations and it was decided that Magaluf would be the place to go to. We needed 8 people to come as there would be 2 rooms of 4. It almost turned into the Dave/Gladman/O'Reilly show but the latter was omitted as we searched for a replacement for Lee Mackey. To be honest John Monday would have been an equal replacement to the aforementioned, but then we stumbled across a certain Matthew Baker who became the last piece of the jigsaw. The holiday was booked for the 2nd of July, just says after the World Cup and the end of our exams. The brochure looked reasonable enough and there was great aniticipation to what was ahead.

rdo

Wednesday 3rd July
Some ridiculous hour - Hear loud banging at the door. Think who the hell is that. Try to ignore it. Banging continues. Ignore it. Banging increases in volume and regularity. Wonder how long they has been banging for. Rob is also stirring so we answer the door. Some guy is there he is called Matty. He tells us there is a welcome meeting, oh yes I remember that mentioned on the coach, so we go downstairs. Krishan and Gary absolutely motionless. Apparently Gary was sick in the night. We get to the bar, some reps talk about something. Feeling not too great, headache, very tired. Some nice rep called Sylvie offers us some 'Champagne' which in fact tastes like Sprite. I think the other room might be here at this point, or if not they join us in our room later. We hear that Matt B was/is also ill. Anyway she wants to know where the rest of us are so we lead her up to our room and she attempts to wake up the other guys. Water is poored over krishan which appears to have some affect. Gary doesnt appear to be moving much and will not take the champagne, but amazingly Krishan is now awake and sips it. I think we were told about a ticket in the meeting. Durden turns up and shockingly asks her to rub my suntan cream into his tatooed back. I look on in horror as Sylvie tells how she found steven reading a magazine. Durden comes out with some innuendo along the lines of what he had been doing before she found him. Anyway I think she is trying to sell us this ticket but we all need to do it at once and gary is still not moving so we tell her to come back. About 12pm - Matty is back he has got to be at a hotel at 12 but has also got to sell us a ticket. We decide to go for it, it gives us stuff to do for the next to weeks for a hefty 160 english big ones, or 240 european big ones. We try to tell Gary we need his money, he manages to reply that it is in his suitcase, with the key being in the safe I think. I take the money and the rest of us are all holding back the tears as we depart we our money in exchange for some bits of paper. Gary has spent £160 sleeping which is pretty impressive. We need to get some supplies, so me and Rob go to the supermarket. We get krishan some shampoo for 'thin/damaged' hair and i think we also got some pasta and sauce for rob to cook. Gary is continuously ill for this day, he cannot hold down anything including water. I decided to take a photo of Gary this morning in retaliation for the harsh picture of me at the Leavers Ball.
This picture was taken in the afternoon when Gary had still not got up. Krishan and Garys room for causing havoc and crashing out (notice the broad daylight outside the lazy gits) This is something like what our room looked like, except the beds were on the other side and we didnt have a balcony, just a window. Later in the day I purchase the hangover cure that is bananas thinking I would eat them over the next few days but I offer them to Gary and he manages to eat and not bring the food back up. Even so Gary decides not to go to the festival due to not wanting to drink. The first few nights, the italian was in charge of the cuisine. Expecting a quality spaghetti bolognese or home made pizza I was slightly dissappointed with the orange pasta which had been dumped onto a plate and then given to me. However, being far from a good cook myself, I was grateful for what had been done for little expense. This did not disguise the lack of taste of the pasta though, and after an attempted variation the next night involving ham we decided to eat at the cheap bar downstairs for the rest of the holiday unsurprisingly. Here Gary is eating off a saucer. Later on that night we have something called the summer festival. It starts at 6 so obviously the bus goes before then, however not everyone is ready and people want to eat so we do so then get 2 taxis to the Western Water Park where the first 6 hours or now less is taking place. We walk through the park, there are 3 arenas and at the second one DJ Carl Cox is playing. We listen to him for a bit, and get a few drinks. No one had read the flyer or the ticket which we could use for a free drink. The drinks were pretty expensive, 5E for a small red bull and vodka. There were a lot of people there at this time, and it was still quite light. It was a bit too early, and we had not had enough drinks to really hit the dance floor yet so we headed to arena 3 which was a barn with 'Live N Funky Soul'. This place was quite good but it was enclosed and not a lot of people were there. We had decided that we would go and see DJ Pied Piper at 10pm at arena 1 which was 'Funky House & Garage'. This turned out to be one of my highlights of the holiday, as the music was a lot different to anything else I heard on in clubs of Magaluf. The rep sylvie was also here looking nice. MC Unknown was doing some microphone coordinating and despite having an afro was very good as was the DJ, and Krishan was lovin it lovin it lovin it when they did the 'Incredible' song and he got onto the small stage. INSERT FLYERS 12pm - After listening to Pied Piper and MC Unknown we then left the water park and got on a coach to go to the second part of the festival at BCM. This is the largest club in Magaluf probably Mallorca as well. It consists of 3 sections, a restaurant/bar, a club and downstairs is a smaller club called millenium. BCM looks like this: The most important thing to remember with BCM was which way to go to get home. I never quite mastered it and you can read about this later. The club part of BCM looks like this: Once we got to the BCM square we found several bars and we took advantage of our 1 free glass of champagne in one of them. We were trying to stell Garys ticket after previous effots at the water park outside failed. The ticket was worth 30E and im sure someone would of bought it which Gary would have no doubt appreciated. There was an attractive girl in one of the bars, and Rob obviously thought by giving her the ticket he had a chance with her, alas nothing came of it. At the beginning of the holiday Rob was in charge of the tickets, and was clearly using this to his advantage which was downright disgraceful. INSERT FLYERS We eventually made our way to BCM, we stayed here for a while. Gladman got chatting to a rep from 18-30s who was not at all nice. This saga continued with Gladmans desperation becoming apparent. We stayed here for a while but the time came for us to head downstairs into Millenium and after a while the Vengaboys came on. I noticed that one girl was doing all the work but they were great none the less. I think some of the palma novans were here. After singing along to such classics as 'Were going to Ibiza' and 'Uncle John From Jamaica' which Dave described as awesome we went back upstairs. We were gradually dispersing throughout BCM. I was listening to Fergie with everyone else but we were all in different places and I was with some of the palma novans. Fergie didnt impress me a great deal, and after him I eagerly anticipated the arrival of someone called Lisa Lashes, but after about half and hour there was still some bloke playing rubbish music so I left BCM and made the long walk home. It had been a great night.

Lee Mackey

PEetabix — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 07:45:03 CST

Without wanting to repeat the original review of Mackey which can be found on the reviews section of the hugepe.co.nr front site it is safe to say Mackey will remain an integral part of hugepe whether he is present or not. Mackey is often confounded by the concept of AGE and specialises in cars and music. He is currently internet dating a beautiful lucky young serb named JEL.

Krishan Roopun

mackey_lee — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 05:05:58 CST

Krishan has shin splints and is known to organise football games but hasn't really lately because of the condition of being lazy.

Gary Mantle

PEetabix — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:58:02 CST

Original loader and Chelsea FC hardcore supporter. Gary's opinions on football (or anything in general) always seem to raise the temperature you are most likely to find these opinions aired on the HugePE Forum or in a pub in Brighton these days

Loaders

PEetabix — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:55:55 CST

Although many people label themselves loaders there were only in fact three loaders:

The term is derived from a Mossadeghi class where we were supposed to learn about "absolute loaders."

When a program is ready to be run, a program called a loader will take the machine code program and load the instructions (perhaps from disk) into their specified storage locations.

Our interpretation of this:-

When Computing homework is ready to be done, a person called a loader will take the cm01/02/3 icon and load the program (probably pirated copy) at the specified time of 1am+.

This is achieved through regular communication on MSN talking about shit. The loaders disbanded in practice upon A Levels becoming serious but unfortunately it was too late for the loaders (irony). They remain in principle.

WAGs

PEetabix — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 08:15:09 CST

Originally of course the Wives and Girlfriends link to many of the AGE players known to disrupt AGE games often. An alternate meaning also exists from the Bruce Arena where random Collingwood College students started trolling us playing football. This lead to Krishan describing them as scallywags later abbreviated to just WAGs. WAGs are to be avoided at all costs (either variety) for the benefit of all things GE.

Matt Knight

PEetabix — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 08:12:30 CST

Old-skool AGEr

Has Viking Longboats for feet. Matt is unable to play AGE after 9pm due to WAGgage interference conflicting his internet.

AGE Christmas carols

Matthias_Sammer — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:57:48 CST

The imminent release of AGE III back in winter 2005 kicked the creative juices of fellow players straight form the dark ages to the imperial one. Enjoy!

I'm dreaming of an AGE christmas
Just like the ones I used to have
Where wonders glisten, and villagers listen,
To hear a bombard cannon in the snow

By Mr. Roopun

On the first day of christmas
my true love sent to me
age 3 on a dvd

On the second day of christmas
my true love sent to me
two strongbows
and age 3 on a dvd

.........
By Mr. Knight

On the first day of christmas
my true love sent to me
age 3 on a dvd

On the second day of christmas
my true love sent to me
two strongbows
and age 3 on a dvd

On the third day of christmas
my true love sent to me
3 woad raiders (sameers entire army)
two strongbows
and age 3 on dvd

On the forth day of christmas
my true love sent to me
4 teutonic knights
3 woad raiders (sameers entire army)
two strongbows
and age 3 on dvd

By Mr. Bates

Last Christmas I beat you at AGE
But the very next day I teamed up with Smear,
This year to stop me from tears
Ill treb you with somethign special

By Mr. Roopun

Last Christmas I beat you at AGE
But the very next day, I teamed up with Smear
This year to stop me from tears
Ill treb you with somethign special

Last Christmas I gave you some wood

But the very next day, you stole my relic
This year to stop me from tears
Ill convert your elephant with a monk thats special

By Mr. Knight

Deck you town with stables a-plenty
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Build lots of knights, for smear thats 20
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Advance to castle age with resources
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Or i'll smash thou with my forces
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

By Mr. Bates

Just hear those town bells ringing,
ring-ting-tingling too,
Come on it's lovely weather for a town raid together with you There'll be castles falling and villagers calling 'Wololo'
Bates get your ships together for I am coming for you....

By Mr. Washington

Town bells ring, your villagers retreating,
across the land, spilt blood is glistening,
a horrible fight,
your cavalry taken out,
fighting in Age3 wonderland.

Gone away is the your army,
here to stay is my army,
as i tear your towers down,
when my trebs move around,
fighting in Age3 wonderland,

fighting in Age3 wonderland...

By Mr. Mannick

Doughboys

Matthias_Sammer — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:57:19 CST

"In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire THE DOUGHBOYS."

The Doughboys were founded by a group of individuals in around 2000, in a detached house in a village in deepest Surrey, as a distraction from the deep deprivation and drugs and gun related crime in the mean streets around Lightwater. Their mascot, the Pilsbury Doughboy himself, serves as a free spirited mascot embodying all that is good about bakery and online real-time strategy games. He defeated the other potential mascots - Nicky Barmby, the ITV Monkey and Footix the World Cup 98 mascot, in a television phone-in hosted by the twins from Fun House. Their member ranks have been steadily growing, although the main membership is comprised of a few key members -Ex0cute, Skibauk, weetabix, Monsterschnozz, legendbarmby and Space Station Smear. These members have, for the most part, undergone many name changes but the play remains the same. The Doughboys today are a high-tech band of renegades, who have gone largely mobile, with the exception of desktop warriors Bates and Matt, who have yet to go down the laptop route. Bates in particular refuses to replace his bulky, unreliable desktop machine as it holds happy memories of the days when he used to have to operate a cabriolet PC, with the side off for what he would term 'breathing'. It was of course for cooling, something that Space Station has struggled with in recent months. Being from the far sunnier climes of Mauritius, you'd think he knows a thing or two about keeping cool, but alas one fateful night chez Roopun saw him twice have to place his laptop in the fridge, before declaring that his oversight in not bringing his 'laptop cooler' had left his laptop displaying all the effectiveness of an Ashley Giles 'Slider'. Despite his equipment issues, young Bates has recently been in superb form in front of the keyboard, with an impressive run of victories. This has led to accusations of cheating from certain foes, something which only a good match against some of the Doughboys fabled online foes can assess...

THE DOUGH WILL RISE!!!

Nick Owen

Matthias_Sammer — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:31:48 CST

Nick Owen AGE appearance.

Nick used to be somewhat of a legend famous for his outlandish fashion stylings and famous drunken ramblings and actions including the controversial Nick-o-meter. These days Nick has reformed himself back into a normal person who goes to the gym and frequents his uni friends a lot and doesnt really get drunk or do silly things anymore. Whether this is for good or bad I leave you to decide. Nick is about to embark on a south American trip for 6 months see you in July Nick. Nick continually bangs on about living in London.

Keith Halifax

Matthias_Sammer — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:29:42 CST

KPMG wizkid and nick barmby fanatic

Is also one of the few HugePE members to have a documented proverb:

"...to do a Keith" [saying]
1. The act of spending very little money in spite of seeming wealth.
2. To be nutmegged by a football player of little skill, ideally, Shifty AKA Uncle.
3. To injure a hernia.
4. To start slowly at AGE and arrive when the battle is almost over.

Daniel Bates

Matthias_Sammer — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:27:18 CST

Bates is up to Nottingham more regulalry than a train service. He is a long standing member of the AGE crew famous for his wacky driving skills incredibly poor timekeeping and punctuality and his wayward shooting when playing football. He has a short temper which is often set to boiling point by any sporting activities with Daniel Bloodworth. He has built a reputation as a formidable AGE player and recently managed to win a pro evo tournament despite Martins best efforts to park the bus although one could point to the fact that we suspect Bates is a HUMAN. He has been famous for a number of PEs and GEs, including some great movement inside the penalty box leading to him losing the world's leading man-marker, Sameer Mannick, and scoring with a free header. Also, he famously fell over, both at AGEFest 2006 inside Moda, and also when pushing Matt Knight's broken down car down his road in West End. The second of these incidents proved controversial as Bates claimed that his hands did not touch the ground and so it could not be counted as falling over. These bleatings were largely disregarded.

His diminutive size is apparently down to being kept in a box in his youth, the only way his family could keep him from running out of the house to go to Nottingham and thus missing school. This however does not hold him back from winning the occasional header.

Daniel also owns a Queen of the Seas T-shirt which displays prominently his favoured role when playing Age of Empires, which he plays too much. He enjoys building as many ships as he can and then sending them to wreak havoc in opposing towns. However sometimes this backfires as he cannot get to most of the towns.

Pro Evo

monsterschnozz — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:06:31 CST

After AGE the game of choice having being played from PES1 through to PES6 originally dominated by Keith then Krishan and then Martin the current best player is still to be decided despite Daniel Bates winning the last mini tournament.

Pro Ev tournaments have often been decided by the use of clever tactics, be they parking the bus or simply choosing Arsenal (see Daniel Bates). An important skill is being able to disregard criticism of tactics, as attempting to play open expansive football (ie moving the bus) in order to appease the critics leads to poor results when playing as teams whose abilities can only be described as a HugePE.

Sameer "smear" Mannick

FrodoPE — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 15:58:41 CST

Smear or Space Station became the 2nd mauritian to infiltrate the AGE ranks and became notorious for his inability to build villagers and any semblance of an army. He later tried to play football and maybe unfairly has gained a label as having no pace and also being unable to mark nonlarger than life opponents. He often forages into the opposition penalty area when there are no longer any defenders there raising his knees very highly in the process.

Currently competing in the World's Slowest Man competition, see Bruce Arena

Parking the bus

FrodoPE — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 15:45:59 CST

A famous tactic used by Martin to quite some success he literally takes all his team and parks them in front of his goal in order to frustrate the opposition and bore them into submission and then hit them on the counter with some ridiculously speedy player and score. he has been known to come up short when facing HUMANS.

Martin Washington

PEetabix — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 03:32:40 CST

An original loader and founder of the HugePE suite of sites. Adept at parking the bus.

AWWWWW I knew you'd do that

PEetabix — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 03:31:52 CST

The infamous sound effect which follows and haunts Bloodworth wherever he isnt. or is.This came to existence via his almost telepathic readings of other peoples hands during poker (even though he had already folded). This lead to Bates remarking a similarity to the famous Rainbow charatcter Zippy

See Also:

AWWWWW I knew you'd have that

Iain Morton

monsterschnozz — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:39:29 CST

Ia in is the mysterious friend of Martin Washington a devout follower of Liverpool FC.